I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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