That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
