I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
