you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
