people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize