I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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