i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Can I color on your dick again?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
