some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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