My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
