Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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