I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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