do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
