it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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