If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so that wasnt chicken after all
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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