get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
