South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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