im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
too bad you live with your parents still
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize