just come out here and I will go home with you...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
