i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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