"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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