We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
