Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
