My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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