i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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