The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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