Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize