Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
