I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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