i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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