just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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