Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
