member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
home. puking in laundry basket.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
