K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
