She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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