I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
