I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
