I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
