either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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