apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
