i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
