You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize