I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
