the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
