capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
