I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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