My first STD was from a foam party
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
