Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
