CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize