I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
MIDGETS
????
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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