She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
