I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
