I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This baby is an asshole
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
