Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
