I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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