Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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