if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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