You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
