Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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