woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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