she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
