it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
